21 Big Ideas

I recently attended a conference called “Christianity21” in Denver, Colorado. Christians and non-Christians alike were invited to come and speak about their BIG IDEA for the future of the Christian church in the 21^st century. The format was simple yet innovative: 21 people with 21 different ideas for 21 minutes each. There were also other presentations given by dozens of others attending the conference. These brave souls were asked to prepare their BIG IDEA in 21 slides for exactly 7 minutes of speaking. All in all, we heard 35 different people talk in 48 hours  - it was a fantastic event! Here are 21 ideas or insights I came home with that made an impact on me (in no particular order):

1. May we know what we’ve always suspected, that the God who created us is better than the God we created. (Jonathan Merritt)
2. I want to take God’s love personally. I tell you my story to honor your own. (Paul Raushenbush)
3. At the heart of God’s revelation, the margins are at the center of God’s concern. Why are the margins still at the margins of the church? (Noel Castellanos)
4. Faith is a team sport, not an individual competition. (Nadia Bolz-Weber)
5. As culture and science shift so too must religion. We need to make new narratives known! (Ron Martoia)
6. Let’s give up on the afterlife for awhile, accepting that death is the dark door of mystery and focus more on this life. (Kent Dobson)
7. Authority comes from existential, experiential, vulnerable and honest growth. That’s it. (Kent Dobson)
8. What if we ritualized words about hunger and being filled, or abundance and care instead of betrayal and brokenness before we shared Holy Communion? (ErikaMarksbury)
9. People want to be loved and belong – it’s our job to remind them. (Mike Foster)
10. Be ‘sanctified shot-callers’ by building up your street cred by what we do on the street. (Romal Tune)
11. Think big. Start small. Keep moving. (Charles Lee)
12. Culture trumps strategy & vision. Hiring someone innovative doesn’t change the culture. (Charles Lee)
13. Every 500 years there is a great emergence. (Phyllis Tickle)
14. Maybe we’ve finally arrived at the place and time when we’re ready to hear anew what the Spirit is up to and move the story further. (Phyllis Tickle)
15. Hope is a radical act of faith and courage, it is not weak. And it only comes after despair. (Sarah Bessey)
16. The face of Christianity isn’t changing, its already changed. (Enuma Okoro)
17. Live in your context both physical and digital because you are good news. Digital isn’t the opposite of real but the opposite of physical. (Jim Kast-Keat)
18. Why don’t we believe God is equipping us once we are breathed into existence and not just when we are called? God is not calling us to “do missions” but to be the church. (Jamie Wright)
19. What happened to God? We don’t know what we mean by God anymore. (Kent Dobson)
20. The best way to be innovative is to get out of your normal connections. Foster experiences from different scenes outside of your field – eventually things will start connecting. (Charles Lee)
21. The (political) middle does not always indicate an absence of conviction. Fierce conviction can lead to the middle. The middle is where peacemakers seek to hold hands with those on the right and on the left. (Sarah Cunningham)

Where Hope Finds Me

Yesterday I led an internment and burial service for a 12 year old boy who died unexpectedly while playing basketball.

Now that I've got your attention by a tragic reminder that we live (and die) in an unpredictable and fragile world, I'm open to your thoughts as to why this boy died.

I sure hope you are as speechless as I am.

Why are we so restless about having to acquire all the answers? Of course, science will be able to explain what happened in his body that caused his heart to stop beating, but I know there is nothing that autopsy report can reveal that will put all of our answers to rest. In the depths of our tremendous suffering at Breck's loss, our grieving is compounded with such terror that something like this could and does happen in our existence as human beings. Disease, missing chromosomes, blood clots, tumors - all beneath the skin and out of sight, we learn the hard way that we are not in control.

No one is. Is God? I don't know.

I do not believe in a Puppet-Master God or in a God who creates and then retreats to his control room to watch us destroy ourselves. For me, the truth about God is that God isn't up in the control room switching between screens and hitting buttons that send lightning strikes to earth or typhoons that swallow up towns or fires that wipe out entire teams of firefighters. For me, God is Almighty but that doesn't encompass the pulling of all the strings. Likewise, there is no way I can deny the stories and experiences from my life when I have felt God's presence and work on my behalf.  God is involved in my life in ways I cannot explain here, but I know God's love is real and true and powerfully transformative.  I believe God has a preferred future for all of us, and ultimately God's goodness conquers evil, but in the meantime, the creation is free to be as it was created and that will mean that with beauty and good there will also be shadows and suffering. As we suffer, I believe so too does God suffer, and more than we'll ever understand…  Somehow God is working in our midst for us and with us while still honoring our freedom. Therefore, when it comes to Jesus' death, I've come to really question and doubt the belief that God was only born into God's own creation as a baby in order to become a human sacrifice for the forgiveness of sins for the world.

So now, in the wake of the most recent death from my parish community (Breck was a beloved grandson, nephew and cousin of some of my members) the question of why arises again, this time in connection with the foundational truth of any ministers' proclamation: the death of Jesus Christ on a cross. I took one class in seminary that discussed the possibilities of why Jesus died before being thrust out into the pulpit in the Lutheran tradition to teach others. I'm discovering that one class wasn't sufficient for a thinker like me. But then again, school at present isn't a place where our questions are encouraged as a way of grappling with mystery but in order to arrive at conclusions and facts. How on earth though can we truly ever understand why a man would allow himself to be tortured and crucified unjustly? I stand before a congregation of people every week who believe I know the answer to that question - but I don't. I don't have the slightest clue why Jesus died. The popular answer is that Jesus knew he was going to die and did so because our forgiveness and ability to go to heaven was on the line. That used to do it for me, but then my mind never stopped thinking about it and now I really don't know what I believe. Is knowing the exact reason why that important?

You see, for me, hope still finds me in the midst of my suffering even in the absence of an acceptable theory behind the death of Jesus. For me, what is most important is that Jesus experienced death first-hand. Not only that but Jesus experienced what it feels like to one of us - to feel joy and hope, grief and disappointment, to be betrayed, abandoned, and forsaken. Why Jesus underwent such injustice when his life was on the line, I can only speculate. But something just doesn't sit right when I think that the only reason he died was to appease God's penalty for his childrens' sins.

Yes, hope finds me when I survey that wondrous cross because I believe God stepped on earth to get as close as possible to his creation and the hands, feet, eyes, ears and hearts of his beloved humankind. I believe God couldn't stand to be apart and was willing and able to do whatever it took to bring us to his side forever. But like a guest who has over-stayed their welcome or a person invading our personal space, God in Jesus Christ got just a bit too close for comfort so they nailed him to a cross. I don't really know if what I think fits into a category anymore, but perhaps for you seminary classmates out there, the closest I can get is the "Wondrous Love" theory. I can't help but wonder though...what if Jesus so truly respected humankind's freedom that he was willing to allow for even his own death, a death by the very hands, feet, eyes, ears and hearts that God created? A death not by design or pre-destination but as a result of getting too close and too intimate and saying too much of what we didn't want to hear...What if Jesus truly died for you - for your love, your hopes, your sins, your whole-existence from birth to even death just so he could be the only one truly for you in every way imaginable? What if?

It's a terrible mystery how a boy can step up to the free-throw line hoping to make a couple of shots and instead be suddenly stepping up to meet his Maker. It troubles me beyond all belief. And yet, something deep within me beckons and reassures that even in that moment Breck's Maker and Savior was with him in ways I'll never know or understand, and that that was not the end of Breck's story.

Seeking answers can lead to everything from anger to justice or from pain to peace, but in the end, knowing the why isn't as important as knowing Who is always beside, within and all around me. Hope finds me because I believe the cross wasn't the end to Jesus' story but rather one last barrier to overcome so that I might live forever with God - or more accurately - that God might live forever with me and with us.

There's a reason there are volumes and volumes of books and theories - it's hard to wrap this up in one moderately short blog post! I am still working this out and I'll probably change my mind about something by the end of the week.  But, for now, this is my working truth and I am intrigued by what truth other people operate from, so your observations, thoughts and comments are welcome and appreciated!

Important authors who have informed and inspired my thinking about this include:
John Polkinghorne (Quarks, Chaos and Christianity: Questions to Science & Religion). Rob Bell (Love Wins & What We Talk About When We Talk About God), Joel Green (Rediscovering the Scandal of the Cross: Atonement in New Testament & Contemporary Contexts) and Jurgen Moltmann.

Free Thinkin' Theology

I have grown tired of the phrase many in my congregation say over and over again regarding their ministry: "Well, we used to ..." I am currently challenging them to create new memories so that we don't have to fall back on how good things used to be. And yet, when I hear those two words "used to" put together so frequently, I am comforted that it's not just a reminiscing or longing for the goodness of yesteryears, but "used to" is also a reminder of how much I have grown and evolved. Yep, that's right - evolved. I am growing so much more confident that Darwin was right about his thoughts on nature and evolution.

And that's just the beginning of how I've changed over the years. I used to believe many things, including that evolution was a lie and that Charles Darwin was just one of a long-line of God-hating scientists. My worldview has changed and many of the things I was naïve about and held at arms length are now things I think aren't just possible but truth - including the important role that science plays in matters of faith, the human condition and theology. Of course I know I could be wrong, but that's the beauty of a free thinkin' theology: it doesn't matter because for me, growing and strengthening in faith is not about something being right. It's about wonder and creating meaning. I'm not interested in fact-finding but in the exploration of truth. Truth leaves the door open while fact slams it shut. Discussion over. As long as we can talk about and explore the deepness of God and all things of the spiritual nature together with honesty and humility, there is hope for unity amidst our differences.

And so, I have adapted an approach of transparency, honesty, vulnerability and authenticity. I often feel like I've said too much or revealed more than I needed to. And while silence definitely has its place, when it comes to what it means to be human, I think the only way to grow is through listening for truth in our storytelling. Whether a friend, husband, dad, pastor, I desire connection and personal well-being and growth through dialogue, imagination and a spirit of adventure into the unknown by asking lots of questions. The sweet irony is that I used to dislike people like this - people who questioned everything, especially when it came to matters of faith. But then life happened to me, and it happened again and again, and on one particular happening, I realized that certainty or more specifically, knowing why something happened - was not possible. The only certainties I could stake my life on were change and death. For me the choice was simple: mystery or misery of uncertainty. I chose mystery and still do.

Of course, one must realize that Free Thinkin' Theology is only "free" if the thoughts stay in your head. It's only "no cost" if you keep your doubts, wonder and questions to yourself. Honesty comes with a high premium in todays world. I am growing increasingly aware of what living out this level of honesty and question-asking means in regards to the church. As a leader of a faith community/ congregation (what many refer to as church) I am learning that a free thinkin' preacher is welcome up to a point. But oh how I long for a church (universally speaking) that not only welcomes this kind of honesty and faith-curiosity but becomes synonymous with it - so that when people encounter Jesus-followers they would associate us with truth-telling, acceptance and humility. Imagine that for a second... What might happen if people of faith, especially the Christian faith, reflected not judgment or closed-mindedness, but authentic expressions of Jesus' radical acceptance, hospitality and gratitude in their relating to one another (no matter what you believed?)

It's easy to feel like it'll never happen, but I still hope it will. In the meantime, I will strive to be as genuine and true to myself as I can. Whew, if you've read this far - congrats and thanks. Now that I've got all that off my chest, I will take aim at exploring the following 5 areas of spiritual and religious debate that I cannot stop questioning and formulating new ideas and beliefs about:

1. Why did Jesus die?
2. The Bible
3. Hell
4. Science and Religion
5. God as omniscient (all-knowing)

How's that for a cliff-hanger?

The Point of Theological Education

I think what made learning the stick shift so important was that it was a concept completely foreign to me. I grew up never needing to know this skill - it was automatic to know only an automatic transmission. Inquiring about driving a stick-shift as an adult brought about a certain amount of vulnerability because for the people who taught me, the skill came quite naturally to them, for they had developed their abilities over a long course of time - in other words, manual had become their automatic. Learning anything so foreign as an adult is difficult because our brains have been wired in a particular way for a longer period of time.

And yet, it's never too late to learn something new. It takes practice, persistence and above all, humility to be instructed. I have learned that the simplest way we can grow as individuals is to ask questions - to act on our curiosity and to be open-minded to learning about something that scares us or to try something we've never done before. In the same light, I have hard-wired my brain in the subject of theology for a large portion of the last 15 years. Going to seminary was actually a very natural progression and something that I'd known I would do for a long time. Therefore, completing my four year Masters of Divinity degree and completing my "manual transmission instruction" are two very different kinds of accomplishments. Graduating from seminary feels incredibly awesome because of how passionate I am about God and graduating from the "school of stick-shift driving" feels incredibly awesome because of how unfamiliar and uncomfortable I used to feel about driving anything with a clutch.

There seems to be a lot of unspoken curiosity about the point of theological education today. I sense there are many both in and out of the church who wonder about people like me who spend four years studying theology, religion and all things supernatural. A significant part of me avoided seminary for several years because I didn't want people to look at me and think that I had become too stuffy, arrogant or entitled and thereby alienate people around me with my "superior" knowledge of the Bible. I didn't want to learn so much that I lost my critical edge, empathy and approachability with people who might be inquisitive about living by faith or joining a church. Something is communicated to people when they encounter anyone with a collar or Pastor/Reverend in front of their name, and all too often that message is negative for whatever the reason. There are of course many exceptions to this, but in my age bracket there is definitely growing suspicion and mistrust of clergy.

I went to Luther Seminary because I felt God was calling me to do so. Telling people this causes eyebrows to raise and evokes a series of questions which are either shared aloud or kept hidden and locked away. This is a natural thing to do because "calling" language is not normal - it is foreign and even a little weird. But this is exactly why I went. I was nudged by a force outside of me to enter into a period of discernment about my entering the ministry, and when I could no longer give myself a logical excuse to do anything else, I took a step towards theological education. This sort of obedience is no different for anyone else in any other career - we are all called to pursue that which excites and energizes us and if we're willing to listen and follow those Spirit nudges, there is nothing stopping us from reaching our potential.

I have come to view my time spent in theological education at Luther Seminary as a particular length of time in which I was called to dwell in God’s historical and biblical story and to explore how God has been at work through human beings in community throughout the ages. In a sense, it was like studying the Holy Spirit’s affects through both a rear-view mirror and a picture window. These two perspectives brought to light that theological education is less about acquiring artifacts and answers and more about teasing out the necessary insight, practical tools and strategies one needs to thrive as a public witness and leader of the church. I think the point of theological education is about cultivating wisdom, creativity, practical leadership skills, historical insight and passion for and around the word of God and God’s work through the church. In short, all of these areas have inspired and equipped me further in my pursuit of how to “know, love, and enjoy God as much as possible in this life now and forever in heaven.” (Augustine of Hippo)

When we face challenges like doing algebra or auto-mechanics (or driving stick), it is not just about acquiring answers as it is about wiring our brains in order to learn how to problem solve. In the same sense, this is how I view theological education. It’s not about uncovering specific meanings of passages or the answers to contradicting theories and challenges – but it’s about the process of becoming wise stewards to the faith of which we have been called. Theological education is less about solving mysteries and more about dwelling within them and wrestling with our questions. It is about cultivating and sharing wisdom through our context, both past and present as we participate actively in the life of the community to which we have been called.

I am really excited to take the wisdom I have gained during my time at Luther Seminary and in the various ministry contexts I've experienced over the course of my life and apply them as a Pastor at Big Bend Lutheran Church. I go not with a belief that I know all there is to know, but rather with the confidence and certainty that God goes with me and will continually send the Holy Spirit to accompany, guide and inspire my ministry and decision-making. There is no magic formula for success, only a desire to be faithful to that which I have been called to do. May you go and do likewise wherever you are called to be.

She Births!

The last five days have been a blur. I get home from work last Wednesday after writing in my blog and proceed to watch the last five episodes of "Lost" season 6, back to back, with my wife Rebecca. We finished this epic television series at 11:20 pm, well past our usual bedtime. Ten minutes later, at 11:30pm, her water breaks and she goes into labor!

Unbelievable. Talk about ending one chapter of our lives in dramatic fashion!  I didn't even have any time to process the finale before we were packing the hospital bag and preparing the house for our soon-to-be-born baby!  Yes, less than 18 hours after "The End" came "The Beginning" of sweet little Natalie Grace Long's life.

I thought I was prepared. I read books, we talked things through. We watched graphic videos depicting exactly what childbirth would look like. Oh how wrong I was. Nothing prepares you for that moment. And I am so glad for it!  While it is often delivery that gets most of the attention in a father's retelling of the blessed event, it was the 15 or so hours leading up to 'the main event' that still have me reeling.

My wife is amazing. She'd never brag about herself in a hundred years, unless of course it's about beating me at Guitar Hero, so I take it upon myself to talk her up instead. We went into our pregnancy with high hopes and plans to provide our baby the best possible environment for her well-being and health. As most of you know by now, Rebecca and I are very environmentally conscious and seek ways to live simply, i.e. organic foods, reducing our carbon footprint, care of creation, etc. So, in addition to a continual vigilance towards nutrition (read those food labels!) and keeping our waste and resources in check, we decided that there were a few things that would be priorities for our pregnancy, labor and parenting. One of those priorities, especially after doing our reading and viewing of "The Business of Being Born" was to attempt to labor and deliver without medicinal intervention. We were never completely opposed to an epidural or pain medications, for we realized that circumstances do change quickly and such intervention can ease suffering and save lives. And yet, the more we talked and listened to the research and stories of other women, the more we (and by 'we' I mean 'she') realized that natural childbirth was still possible, even in the 21st century.  So we created a birth plan which indicated our preferences for managing the pain without first trying our go at it naturally and set out to bring baby Long into the world.

We met with a member of Grace Lutheran (she happened to be a nurse who taught pregnancy/parenting classes), who gave us a few tips for breathing through the contractions, breastfeeding techniques, etc. and instilled in us confidence and encouragement that we could do this. We considered enlisting a Doula's services, but it just didn't seem to work out. In the end, I don't know if I would've been able to leave her side! As labor quickly approached, nervousness set in, but we remained hopeful all would go well and whatever happened along the way, this baby would be born safely.

Labor was long, but we took each contraction one at a time and breathed them each away. As they intensified, Rebecca stayed in a zone like I'd never seen before. She was unflappable. Man, I could not believe how strong this woman was! She was a warrior. The nurses checked in from time to time with her, seeing if she needed any meds to alleviate the pain, and each time she looked them square in the eye and said, "No. I'm managing." She wasn't invincible, but she was managing them. I did my best to breathe with her and massage, accompany, encourage, be water boy and DJ whenever necessary - it was such a blessing to watch this woman operate through such a challenging life event.

As I stood by and watched her push our child closer and closer to what seemed a laughably small opening, I swelled with pride and love. Although not exactly sure what is 'normal' in delivery, our baby's head was crowning for at least 40 minutes. I caught myself saying "almost there" around 100 times before I made myself think of something else to say. But, she was patient. She listened to our doctor's coaching without complaint. She sweated it out, she even made a joke or two. And then, just when I thought she'd had enough, she kept going....and going....and going.  I cannot imagine how painful this must have felt with drugs or without. But in my wife's case, she was without them and man, did I ever want to break out the biggest, rowdiest, pump-you-up, chest thumping boasts I could think of: "THIS IS MY WIFE!!"  Talk about courage!

When our baby's head finally did emerge from her vagina, my mouth about hit the floor. I was totally speechless. I was expecting something the size of a Nerf football - but out came a little PERSON! Are you kidding me????  I instantaneously broke into tears and the rest is just a blur. I remember hearing "it's a girl!" and "Put her on Mom's chest" - but that is about it. I cut the cord and stood in awe of what had just happened. It was a powerful moment I will never forget. I regained my wits long enough to pose for a picture or two, kiss my wife and give God thanks over and over again for this little miracle. We confirmed to one another our name choice and shared "Natalie Grace" with the room.

And so, here I am, four days into parenthood with our precious gift from God.  Natalie is nothing short of beautiful and I cannot stop gazing at her. I love her little kitty like squeaks and sounds and even her cries bring a smile to my face as I bask in the afterglow of becoming a Daddy. I never thought I would ever take this many sleeping baby photos nor did I imagine I'd actually enjoy waking in the middle of the night to change a diaper, but I am loving every minute of this.

The journey to parenthood was not easy for us. Our faith and hope were tested many times.  We do not take for granted one minute of this little miracle named Natalie, and I still do not think it has completely set in that I am now a Dad. I didn't realize just how much my heart would expand with joy and peace now that she is here. And along with the joy that Natalie has given me, so has my wife and the many friends and family who generously offered their prayers and support throughout it all.  But I am especially grateful for Jesus Christ, the Light on my path when the road was dark, the hand outstretched when I couldn't go on and my Friend and my God, whose promises embraced me in the hope that, "in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28

Life is good. Life is so, so good.

Challenges, Surprises and Joys

The last day of the year 2010.  Along with the rest of the world, I too find myself looking ahead to the coming year and asking: What surprises, challenges and joys await me in 2011? 

The first surprise, challenge & joy will be when I become a parent for the first time - hooray!  Sometime within the time frame of January or early February, Rebecca and I will be welcoming baby Long to our family.  Are we ready?  Am I ready?  Everyone says you're never ready - and I agree - but there is a substantial part of me that disagrees, purely out of the excitement I have towards meeting our child in a few short weeks. Of course, the surprise of the gender looms - which has been cause for much curiosity and anticipation between Rebecca and I and everyone else. Many a person have shared with us their theory or Old Wives tale - which, I must admit, has added much intrigue. But, in the end, boy or girl, no one knows - it's all been just happy guessing. So, as it was nine months ago, we'll all just keep waiting to welcome 2011 surprise number one.  As a result of waiting to find out, I hope this decision to exercise patience and mystery dwelling will enable me to weather the surprises ahead in the coming year.  I've said it all along, life could always use a bit more 'mystery acceptance' - knowing the answers to everything isn't what life's goal should ever be.  I enjoy a good detective story as much as the next guy, but my experience has taught me to appreciate and respect the unknown; doing so can add so much more enjoyment and peace, even when the world says the opposite. 

As far as upcoming challenges...hmmm, let me think.... Well, there is the upcoming birth of our first child.  That might provide some challenge.  Rebecca's pregnancy has been a relatively smooth one, but the closer we get to the due date, the more freak out episodes arise for both of us. Like cramming for a test, we've been hitting the books these last 9 months, learning all we can about the do's, don't's and whatever's of pregnancy health, labor and delivery. It kind of feels like preparing for your driver's license test.  It's not only head knowledge you need to know, but you've got to be able to perform under the pressure - a passing score is only half of it, you have to be able to steer your vehicle and keep you and your test examiner safe.  My general attitude is that no matter what, we will pass the test and this baby will be born.  I expect to miss a few turns, forget to use my blinker and make a few rolling stops - but I know we will do "good enough" to bring this baby out of the womb and into our arms at last.  So, am I ready?  Three words: bring it on. (Although I cannot speak for Rebecca!)  All in all, I fluctuate between scared, anxious and excited for the labor and delivery process. The same feeling holds true for what happens NEXT - being a father.

I know there will be many surprises and challenges ahead, but nothing is more comforting and exhilarating than expecting to become a father for the first time.  The amount of joy that will accompany parenthood outweighs all of the other stuff waiting and lurking in the shadows of 2011. Labor and delivery prep aside, I've been spending an equal amount of time preparing for being a Dad.  I've been fully engrossed in the pages of my first parenting book called "SuperBaby" by Dr. Jenn Berman.  So far, it has provided plenty of information, mistakes, things to avoid, things to try and things to aim for in the first 3 years of life.  I've felt challenged, annoyed, overwhelmed and excited soaking up the author's research, suggestions and advice. Her goal is not for you to form some kind of "uberbaby," but rather, desires the reader to be opened to the many possibilities and pitfalls that accompany all young persons' development.  The book reminds me of the distinct calling and privilege it is to parent, mentor, minister to and form meaningful relationships with children. I may not do everything the book suggests, but I do hope to be the best father I can for my child as he/she continues to learn, learn, learn throughout their life-long journey. This learning and growing for all of us continues to inspire, comfort and provide the purest type of joy I've ever experienced.  

As I reflect on 2010 and all that I have learned, how much I've grown (or digressed) and where my paths might be leading, intersecting and turning for me in 2011, I feel confident in the assurance of God's presence throughout it all.

Happy New Year!