Turning 40

This is my 40th post to Life-In-Tents - hooray! To celebrate this monumental occasion, I will celebrate by highlighting my previous work over the last 40 or so weeks of writing. I do this as a way of re-capping all of the ups and downs, experiences and epiphanies, and of course the downright awful and joyous moments of my life since creating this blog. I'm also doing this because I have very little new material to draw from... Enjoy!

Life-in-Tents Post that elicited the most comments and reactions: "Excuses, Excuses..." September 17, 2007.

Excerpt: Needless to say, I took a day off from work to go get checked out. The diagnosis? Chiggers and Seaticks. That's right, you read that correctly: SEA TICKS. The doc said that the ankles and legs were no doubt the result of the chiggers and the testicles, well, they were chigger magnets too, but, in this case, sea ticks. A cortisone shot, antibiotics and clear nail polish took care of the rest.

Life-in-Tents Post that hit us all where we needed it: "When I Grow Up" October 10, 2007.

Excerpt: Being a coordinator doesn't exactly equal the excitement of the hi-tech nuclear powered bikes and football playing days that I had envisioned when I was 10. Now, it doesn't mean that my work is not meaningful or that I actually long for those previous things, but I definitely still yearn for the spirit and dreamer mentality that surrounded those earlier years. To quote a favorite "Switchfoot" song: "We were meant to live for so much more...have we lost ourselves?"

Life-in-Tents Post that hurt a lot...and still does: "I'm With Stupid" October 25, 2007

Excerpt: It had dropped unknowingly through the hole in my pocket during those 50 steps through the Commons and into the lap of a thief who selfishly pocketed it and didn't think twice. Gone. Two minutes had elapsed, I made one awful decision and it's all gone. Never to return. I still am not over this. I feel so miserable for losing that thing - everything on there is irreplaceable - it was like someone reached into me and stole a part of my soul. Well, maybe that is a tad exaggerated, but you get the idea. That little device carried the mind and heart of me if even in a small way through my writing, my pictures etc, and I only hope that I had a majority of it saved and backed up somewhere else. Lesson learned.

Life-in-Tents Post that made your jaw drop and your eyes do a double-take: "The 7-Eleven Bombshell" July 18, 2007

Excerpt: I really don’t think I could muster anything other than the polite head nodding and “yeahs” that one says when been completely lost for words. And then, “and the way they treated me and my girlfriend…” Whoa – did he just say girlfriend?! I seriously do not think this man to be a shade under 70 years old. And now he’s got a girlfriend. “She came in one night while I was workin’ - needed to use the restroom – she comes out 45 minutes later, blood all over her hands, drippin’ on the floor and a baby in her hands!” Say WHAT?! I don’t think my eyes have ever opened so wide since hearing that. I gasped and shouted, “A baby?!” “yeah – and we didn’t even know she was pregnant!

Life-in-Tents Posts that I will most likely use for future sermons: "Waiting to Soar" July 2, 2007, "Thunderstorms" July 10, 2007, "Facing the Stairs" October 19, 2007, "Sea Sick Sunk" November 9, 2007, "Bring the Blinker Back" January 7, 2008

Life-in-Tents Post that made me laugh and smile the most while writing it: "The (Rest) Room of Requirement" September 28, 2007

Life-in-Tents Post that was most therapeutic for me: "Holding the Helm" March 7, 2008

Over all, it has been an enjoyable and worthwhile time investment contributing to this weekly blog. I plan to continue the practice into the next chapter of my journey, even though I will have to be much more intentional as I embark on the brand new adventures awaiting me at Seminary. Squeezing posts into what surely will be a jam packed academic schedule with extra-curricular craziness will no doubt provide a healthy dose of obstacles, but I have truly found Life-in-Tents to be thoroughly enjoyable and therapeutic for my soul.

Life is about to get a whole lot more intense. Bring it.

Stress Stinks

The following essay was written by my younger brother Dave, a junior at the University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire, majoring in Broadcast Journalism. Hopefully you'll feel better about your last 10 days after reading this. I know I did.

April 3rd, 2008

These last 10 days have been stressful, stressfully funny, and even slightly traumatic. I managed to lose my cell phone last Monday, as in 10 days ago Monday, and I still do not have one. This experience has tested me in the depths of my patience and sanity with friends and family.
“Where did you put it last?” “How did you lose it?” “Have you retraced your steps?” All questions that a concerned friend would ask.
“Well Billy, if I knew where I put it last, I would have my phone, now wouldn’t I?” “If I knew how I lost it, I would tell you, and I would also have my phone.” “And no, I haven’t retraced my steps. I’ve actually sat on my butt searching for my phone while watching Seinfeld… Yes, of course I’ve retraced my steps.”

Now I appreciate those questions, because that’s obviously what we need to ask when we are concerned about one’s prized possession. And I did, however, pinpoint that my phone must be in a four-block radius of my house, and could have possibly fallen down the sewer drain. I really don’t know how it wasn’t in my friend’s car, or on my retraced steps of where I was, because it was a 10 minute process when I had it and when I didn’t. From that moment, I was dreading having to tell my dad, and so, I didn’t; at least for a few days. I knew that we didn’t have insurance on it, so it would have been a hefty price, if any of you have experienced the same thing. I heard through a couple of friends that Verizon could locate a phone through their computers and GPS. I got very excited, and this news enabled me to tell Rod, my dad. I wrote him a long sympathetic e-mail, saying that I couldn’t believe I lost it, yadda, yadda. All of which was true, but a little overdone. I explained that Verizon could find out where it was via GPS. Well, that was a complete lie. Whoever told me that was full of it. So now I have an angry, disappointed dad, right? Wrong. Apparently he had got insurance a couple months ago that I was unaware about. That was probably the best news that happened this week, although I’m still extremely curious as to where my other one went. I can’t wait to see where God conveniently put it for me when I’m up there with Him.

Ever since that incident, I have felt like I have been in middle school and that I am out of the social circle. It is amazing how much we rely on those little guys once we have one. And it is nice; however, not feeling obliged to talk to anyone is kind of nice and things are more peaceful without one sometimes. But since then, I have had a few things happen to me that have added to those stressful 10 days.

Last Thursday, before our testimony night, I had left a couple important pieces of equipment back at my house, thus having to use Rachel’s car to go back and get it. Thank you, Rachel. She has also not heard this story yet. Anyways, I took her car keys out to the parking lot out and I could honestly not remember which one was her car. I obviously couldn’t call her because I didn’t have my cell phone, and I didn’t want to walk all the way back here, so I paced the lot, acting like I was looking for something I had lost. Or maybe I was subconsciously looking for my phone, who knows. I eventually saw the car that I thought was hers, unlocked it, and tried starting it up. Nothing. I tried wiggling the wheel and getting the key in there. Nothing. I tried this for about 3 minutes when I decided to look at my surroundings inside the car. I couldn’t exactly remember what I saw in there, but I remember thinking, “These things do not remind me of Rachel.” So I opened the glove compartment, looked at the insurance, and saw the car was under the name of ‘Amy Shmockenberry.’ This may not be the exact name, but that’s what I specifically remember. I’m just thankful Ms. Shmockenberry didn’t come to her car and see what was transpiring. Anyways, I did end up finding Rachel’s car shortly afterwords about three spots over.

As this last weekend came up, I started wearing my black Columbia jacket instead of my brown Irish one. I did this because on one of the nights, some friends and I went on a mission where we didn’t want to be seen. Looking back, I really wish I would have stuck with my brown Irish one. “Why?” you ask? Well when I had put it on, I noticed a slightly weird funk on it, but thought it was bearable, so I kept wearing it. As I kept putting it on for a couple of days, it started to get worse. I thought it smelled like sulfur, but one of my friends thought otherwise. He thought it smelled like cat pee. I thought, “That’s ridiculous!” But then shortly afterwards, I got confirmation from another friend, Ben John, who also said the same thing. I came to the conclusion that Barry, our housecat, had peed on it.

That Monday ended up being incredibly brutal because the heat of my body was intensifying the pee smell on my jacket, and almost made me vomit by the time I got home that night. Needless to say, there were no smiles or rubbings-of-the belly for Mr. Housecat Barry. And did I say that I forgot my brown Irish jacket in my buddy’s van that came up for the weekend from Minneapolis? Well, I did. And did I say that he doesn’t have facebook or an e-mail address that I know about, so I can’t tell him to send it back to me? Well that happened too. I also heard rumors around our house that night that Barry was being deported. I didn’t know how to take in that information, but I then found out later that one of my roommates, Justin, strongly vetoed the Barry deportation, so there will be no deportation anytime soon. I’m not sure how that makes me feel.

Now that Monday seems horrific enough, am I right? Wrong. One of my buddies, Bryce and I, were supposed to go the Twins opener that night because we had free tickets, but that little snow storm thought otherwise. So if you noticed, we didn’t go. This meant I had to go to class because I no longer had a legitimate excuse not to go, besides the weather. It’s very rare that I miss the Twins opener, so this made me sad and depressed, as it still does. This jersey also had to be sent to me yesterday by my mom because of my inability to get home and to the game. Thanks Mom.

On Tuesday, the day after these incidents, I decided to go ahead and take care of business by washing my jacket to get the smell off of it. I put it in the wash and within 15 minutes, I realized that the washer had broken mid-way through the wash process. My jacket was sitting in a pool of laundry detergent water and watered down cat pee smell. I put it in the dryer for a while, took it out, Febreezed it like mad, cologned it like mad, and it actually made the smell even worse. To this day, I have not worn a jacket outside, thus you probably see me wearing the same hooded Nike black sweatshirt every day. The upside of Tuesday was that I literally found 5 dollars.

Anyways, I don’t know what I’m going to do with my laundry, I don’t know how to stay warm unless spring decides to warm up, I don’t know where my lost phone went to, I don’t know how to meet with people without my phone, I don’t know why DHL decided to stop by my house 15 minutes before I got home today so I couldn’t get my new phone, I don’t know how to get a hold of my buddy from back home, and I don’t know where my sanity level is right now. I do know, however, that I am still living, I am hanging in there, and I am laughing with God through all of this. Amen.

Crappy TV

Of the television shows on these days, there are only a handful that I really really like - "The Office," "Scrubs" and "30 Rock" are definitely my favorites. My TV habits are just that - habits. Like getting home from work and instinctively going into the cupboards or refrigerator in search of something to snack on, when its time to relax at the end of the day, I grab the remote and channel surf. I am not addicted to TV by any means, I often go long periods without watching anything (other than "our shows" listed above or a good sports game) but, when it comes down to my favorite way of wasting time, I cannot help but seeing what my options are on the boob tube. With that said, I am finding that the "options" or, more affectionately referred to by my wife and I as "crappy TV" - are sucking me in, even though I have zero intention of actually maintaining an ongoing relationship.

So, here I am - a man that doesn't "need" TV to be happy in life, sitting across from the very thing that I claim is nothing but a "crappy" way to spend my time. What does that mean? Am I a crappy person for giving into this habit, time after time after time? I like to tell myself that it helps me to stay close to the American culture, so that I can better connect with what is going on around me. Plus, when it happens to be a high-quality show like The Office, it's also a great way to get a laugh and put a smile on my face for the rest of the night and sometimes into the next day. Ultimately, I know that I could choose to live without TV if I really wanted to. I have gone long periods of time without it before, and I didn't suffer severe consequences or mood swings. I know that there really is "life after TV" and many live without it every day - but, for the time being, as long as I am keeping it under control and still being active, I think its safe to keep my little on-again off-again relationship going. It's not like we get home every day from work to see what's on "Oprah"....(wink, wink). Trust me, I know how to shut it off and find something better to do with my time - but only when I feel like it.

So, without further ado, here are my top five "Black-Hole" shows I can definitely live without, but still find myself being sucked into from time to time.

5. "House" (FOX): This is more my wife's favorite, but I too enjoy watching every now and then. Dr. House is about as big of a jerk as there is on TV, and as easy as it is to hate this guy, I can't help but like him and enjoy watching him limp around and causing havoc.
4. "Extreme Home Make Over" (ABC): Who can resist seeing a down and out family get the biggest surprise of their life when their dismal circumstances are flipped upside down on national TV? Occasionally downright irresistible, I plop down and soak up the beauty and miraculous make-overs these houses and families receive from the nice folks at ABC. And sometimes, I even get a bonus tear-inducing moment or two in...
3. Deal or No Deal (NBC): I love to hate this show. It's amazing how it continues to suck me in when both contestant and host annoy me to no end. For example: 1) the only phrase uttered by the contestants, over and over and over again is "Low" followed by the hand motion from waist to ankle. 2) And then there's host Howie's predictable "build-up the suspense and take a commercial break" move or 3) the inevitable dare devil contestant telling off the banker and displaying all kinds of ridiculous "No Deal" antics to rile up the audience. Ahh, as much as I cannot stand to watch, I stay tuned in to see someone walk away rich or get too greedy and fail.
2. The Moment of Truth (FOX): This is a cross between Deal or No Deal and Jerry Springer if you ask me. People willingly go on this show to display how dirty, twisted and awful they are - and seem perfectly content with ruining everyone's lives in the process - only for a chance at winning some cold hard cash, and sometimes, nothing to show for it at all. The questions asked are terrible - "do you regret marrying your husband"? Even with warnings like, "This next question could ruin your marriage" - contestants don't even flinch before allowing it - I just can't believe this is the state of being for people out there. The fact is, their marriage is already in trouble when they audition to be on the show - so, I suppose America has no shame in "cheering" on the liars, thieves and pervs that want to be the next millionaires. Man, of all the shows that anger me most - this one is at the top. And yet, I find myself lingering every now and then while channel hopping.
1. The Biggest Loser (NBC): This one takes the cake (haha). I have no idea why it is as successful as it is. Have you ever gone to the gym and pulled up a chair and watched someone run on a treadmill or lift weights? Well, that is what you're basically doing when watching this show. I laugh to myself and have to click away when they're showing these incredibly overweight people sweating, groaning and giving it all they have on camera. How embarrassing if you ask me. I mean, I'm all about people getting healthy and losing pounds, but c'mon, we need to give them a little privacy during the process. It's great that they have the challenges and interviews - that stuff is what television is all about. The weigh-ins are interesting too, and of course, the reveal is worth tuning in for. The emotional good-byes and vote-offs though are beginning to be a little too dramatic for my tastes - again, it makes you feel like you've entered a little too far into their private conquests, and there is nothing but awkwardness as they send somebody home to fend for themselves. Great for them to get in shape and turn their lives around, and at least you're treated to the warm and fuzzy happy ending feeling - but, man, I can't believe that I get sucked in as much as I do with this show.

Well, there you have it. Judge lest ye be judged. I know I will most likely be leaving much of my television watching days behind me once I become a full time student again, but for now - I'll probably just keep tuning in for more crappy TV...