What are you remembered for? I start this entry with a question that has been rattling around in my mind the last few days as I reflected on an incident that took place on my flight out to Boston over Thanksgiving. We all make judgments constantly - it is a fact of life. I know I shouldn't be so judgmental and I just accept people for who they are, no matter what - but when faced with people who irritate the begeebers out of me, I am stuck. So, I am writing this story to you not so much as fodder or as judgment over others, but as a way of stressing how important it is as human beings to make a good impression or in some cases, no impression at all versus a bad impression - because honestly, a bad impression lasts. And lasts. And lasts.
Getting to my seat on the airplane, several things have my mind in a tizzy. Will I have a window seat? Exit row? Front or back? And of course, the big question is always: Who will I be sitting next to? So to my delight, it appeared as though I had struck a gold mine when I found 12D - Aisle seat, front of the plane, next to two women, younger and 'normal' looking who already had their books out. This immediately put me at ease. I'm not saying that all talking and conversation with your seat mate is bad, for I have had some very good experiences in the past - but in general, I prefer to not converse with strangers while flying. With their books already out, they implicitly communicated that they too, weren't interested in chatting it up. I thought I was home free to read, listen to music or just sit and think.
Or so I thought. As we taxied into take-off position, I began reading as did my seatmate to my right, the woman in the middle seat. She was "reading" and chewing on her fingernails. No biggie. But, she didn't stop biting her nails. Ever. My book was interesting, but not as interesting as this woman next to me, nervously gnawing on her fingers. I thought perhaps she'd quit after take-off. But no. Click, click, click - her mouth was constantly engulfed with her hands. Right hand, left hand, biting, looking, biting, chewing, biting... I can't stand it anymore!!!! I glanced over and noticed her nails were barely there at all - just nubs - what was she still biting?! I was helpless. I couldn't concentrate on my reading. She turned maybe three pages the entire flight. Not even the complimentary cookies and a beverage given out could stop her. Nothing would. I wanted to scream. I eventually had to put my book away and close my eyes and "sleep." I couldn't even stand to be close enough to sense her moving... it was all too much. I pleaded and bargained with God that she'd get off the plane at our stop in Milwaukee. Anybody but her I begged - a stinky person, a talker, a boundary breaker - anyone but her. I got my wish/prayer answered. I spotted her boarding pass and knew her reign of annoyance was over at Milwaukee. It was the longest 55 minute flight of my life. The only good to come of it was the line I thought of saying to her: "That book must be a real nailbiter, eh?" I didn't say it, but oh how it made me smile thinking about it.
In the end, this incident has me thinking about what it is that I do that might torment others sitting next to me on a flight, or on the bus or in class... the only thing that comes close is my knuckle cracking habit. My wife does her best to hold me accountable but I haven't seen the harm quite as much until now. Since that flight, I have really tried to stop. I haven't, in fact, while writing this I think I cracked them four or five times. I am determined to keep trying though. And no, I am not just saying this for brownie points. I really mean it - I want to stop this ridiculous habit for good - for my benefit as well as for my neighbors who will tell stories and blog about my own reign of torment upon their eyes and ears.
So, what are you remembered for when others cross your path? It could be nail biting or knuckle cracking, or maybe something else. Annoying habits aside, I know that we have an opportunity to be remembered for far more than just these in our interactions with one another. Smile, wave, head nod, say hello, be friendly, hold the door open, laugh, shake a hand - let's be nice to one another. It's the most wonderful time of the year, after all. Moral of the story? Keep your hands out of your mouth and give a little Christmas cheer to all - even those nailbiters like her and knuckle crackers like me. And if you need a motivator and reminder like I do, just ask yourself, how do I want to be remembered from this interaction?
