I am immersed in change at the moment. By accepting a new challenge and change in call to Word of Peace in Rogers, it's not like I didn't see it coming. I prepared as best I could for the onslaught of change, but your mind's eye and actually living it out are not always congruent. I learned this the hard way when I accepted my first call to Big Bend and thought 3-5 years there would be a piece of cake - but actually living it out proved to be much, much more difficult for me. All things considered, I tend to be a person who likes to mix things up and experience frequent change. If there were ever a spectrum of change, I know I tend to skew on the "liking change" vs "not liking change." Change is, after all, one of the only two certainties of life outside of the birth canal - the other being that we will all one day die. So I really have no excuse to complain or be anxious about the change around me right now. I like change, right? And yet, when change is bombarded on you, its so much tougher to stay above the waves and not feel utterly helpless and overwhelmed.
If my life were a power ballad, right now I feel like things are picking up tempo, and the slow build is about to crescendo into ear-splitting awesomeness. The problem is that while I tend to welcome, even enjoy change, there is only so much one can handle at a time. The image of quenching your thirst with water shot out of a fire hose comes to mind - knocked down and soaked from head to toe and still really thirsty.
Most of the change is so completely unknown at the time - new people, new house, new neighborhood, new stores, new church calendar, new responsibilities, new office, new software, etc. Focusing on the massive in flux of changes will most certainly bury me in anxiety, stress and restlessness. I cannot control that which I don't yet understand, and that list seems to get lengthier by the day. Instead, I will focus my energy upon that which I know best. I know how to write and I know how to preach and I know how to pray and I know how to play and I know how to love others. As those epic rock songs have taught me over the years of air guitar and drum playing, there is never just one moment or climax that is the destination, but all the notes string together to make the whole a masterpiece, like Stairway to Heaven or Free Bird or Foreplay/Long Time. I sense that this call will provide many sweet moments of simply rockin' out and I can't wait to experience and play them through.
If we are all honest with each other and ourselves, control is merely an illusion. I am reminded of this everyday by the Brian Andreas picture on my office wall. It's a StoryPeople picture and quote (slightly modified) that I find myself living out amidst these change-heavy days:
"If you hold on to the handle, she said, it's easier to maintain the illusion of control. But it's more fun if you just let the (Spirit) wind carry you."
Prayin' your new year is full of windy days and a strong soundtrack to accompany you!
