Sledding 101

When I last wrote, it was butt cold at thirty below zero here in Minnesota. With the temperature not improving much, many of you may be asking just what the heck one would find pleasure in way up here in the land of over 10,000 lakes? Whereas I would agree with you regarding the ridiculous temps here - it was again below zero here this morning - there is one very important positive sell-point about winter in Minnesota: Sledding. Used as both verb and noun in the upper regions of the United States, this pastime is glorious, dangerous and a source for 80% of snow time fun - a true adventure in every sense. In the last two weeks, I've had the pleasure of sledding twice - here's a quick "all-you-need-to-know" about sledding, based on my recent experience.

Clothing & Armor:
Dressing in layers is essential. But unlike other parts of the country where it is expected that you will eventually strip off the layers as you go, there will be none of the sort here. The first time out it was 6 degrees. From bottom to top, this is what I wore: snow boots, two pairs of socks, long underwear, jeans, windpants, long-sleeve underwear top, t-shirt, sweatshirt w/hood, winter jacket, leather chop mittens, scarf and hat. That's right, 13 layers. My feet still froze - and the other weak link of the armor is the wrists. No matter how much you lock-down everything, there is always a place the snow manages to break into. The second time out it was a balmy 18 degrees and I wore pretty much the same thing as before - only this time, I was too warm and actually felt like taking the jacket off. I did not, because the last thing I wanted was to remove a layer of cushion from my body (more on this later.)

The Sleds:
Every sledding adventure requires sleds - duh. Rebecca and I only had one to our name - a flimsy plastic roll-up "sled." It was actually quite a good little sled, but we needed a few more to make the first outing a bit more exciting. We purchased two plastic saucers (like the one Chevy Chase uses in Christmas Vacation, just not aluminum.)

The Hill(s):
For the first adventure, we stayed in our neighborhood and found a nice little bowl-shaped park. There were several kids already sledding, which was a good sign - if the local kids are there, it's good enough for big kids like us. The part of the hill they were using included a mound for slalom sledding - not huge, but big enough to give you and your sled a little air time. We opted to work our way up to that. The first run was steep enough to provide a burst of speed and what it lacked in height it made up for in length. The next hill we tried was our favorite - steeper than the first and much faster - we could even race one another. There were a few white-out moments where you'd hit a patch of powder and kick up snow into your face, thereby cooling you down, not to mention temporarily blinding you. By the time we got to the jump, we were all sledded out. I braved it first and was kind of disappointed - it wasn't as thrilling as I thought it'd be, but was still fun nonetheless.

The second adventure was by far the most exciting of all. Hitting a teenage hotspot of mine - Columbia Golf Course - was the sledding site of choice for this evening outing. Light pollution made it easy to see, so it's not as dangerous as it could have been - but it was still risky, no doubt about it. We had the place to ourselves that night, and it was somewhat understandable as to why - for as far as the eye could see, the entire hill was covered in ice - sheer ice. The snow was compacted and all that was left was sheet after sheet of ice - it looked incredibly intense. I don't know how fast we were really going, but I'd venture to guess that we probably hit 30 mph - maybe even faster. At times it sounded like an airplane taking off - especially when we doubled up. For this sledding occasion, there were four of us - myself, my wife, my brother Dave and his friend Kent - and we definitely rocked that monster of a hill for the full 2 and a half hours - from 7:30 pm to 10 last Saturday, we were death-defying speed racers, screaming and zooming all the way down that hill. The downside to all that speed was of course the A) inability to stop due to ice and short reaction time and B) surfaces that made your insides shake as you bounced over every icy bump, feeling your body bruising all night long and C) getting back up the hill over and over again. The getting back up was the universally hated part of the evening, as everyone tasted the shame of continual foothold slippage and faceplanting into the icy hillside and then scrambling to regain your grip as you slid backwards down where you came from. This was also the source of many a laugh and chuckle - especially during the later parts of the night when confidence was riding at its highest. Perhaps the craziest of all was that one tree that seemed to have a gravitational death wish for us all - no matter how many times we thought we had steered clear of it, it would always find us and pull us toward it - making for some very close calls and last minute escapes and bail outs.

There is nothing more invigorating than the "sled train," where we'd all link legs and plummet down the hill together at break-neck speed, trying to top our last mark over and over and over again. Sledding never got old that night, each run was just as fun as the last - not too cold and no one else to compete with - it was perfect. Eventually, our bodies had taken enough abuse for one night and we called it quits - to which I am still recovering five days later. Would I do it all over again, even despite the bruises in un-sightly places? Absolutely. Next time you've got the need for speed and have 3 pairs of pants, a couple pairs of socks, boots, a warm jacket and mittens - give me a call.

Thirty Below

Winter in Minnesota has come in full force. These last few days have been brutal if you're a Luther seminary student like me. Slammed by final paper fever, I have been cranking out the typing like Jack in The Shining. Then, for a little break, I can go outside and enjoy the negative thirty degree weather - woohoo! Oh, good times have arrived my friends - good times.

This is primarily for my Richmond, Virginia peeps - you may officially begun to chuckle. Against your snickers and advice, we moved back here - by choice. It is 57 degrees in Richmond right now. That is an 80 degree difference. Here come the tears.

I am about to venture up the hill, on my way to the last day of my Monday classes for the semester. Is it tempting to stay inside and get some more papers and final assignments done? Almost as tempting as just climbing back into bed. I have thought about both - but, alas, I must face ol' man winter (who is being a real jerk lately) and fulfill my duty as a student. I know I could choose otherwise, but part of me just wants to finish strong, amidst the icey trials that are mocking me. I will look to my armor to protect me: long underwear (top and bottom), pants, two pairs of socks, sweatshirt hoody, jacket, hat, leather mitten chops and my trusty ol' boots. I love my boots. I will cover everything but my eyes, get my Minnesota shoulder hunch going and away I go, slipping and sliding away on the black ice, up hill, to the other end of campus.

Am I bitter? Not yet. I am still getting used to this actually. I like the change in scenery and the way the snow feels underfoot. I also like how my wussy-ness is being put to the test. I went to a guys night out party last night, watched some Sunday Night Football and then played snow football during half time. It was 13 below when we started. I honestly lost feeling in my pinky fingers half way through. I also couldn't stop kicking myself for opting against the long underwear, talking myself out of it: "We won't play now that its this cold, right honey?" She didn't have an opinion - I decided I wouldn't play even if they wanted to. I was wrong on both counts, realizing I had become a real wuss. This must change. We had a good time, but oh my word, it was SO COLD. Ok, I have put my walk off long enough. Farewell my friends. Have a wonderful day, wherever you are. And for those of you Minnesotans reading this - God be with you!

It is NOT all in the mind people. So don't even go there!