And that's just the beginning of how I've changed over the years. I used to believe many things, including that evolution was a lie and that Charles Darwin was just one of a long-line of God-hating scientists. My worldview has changed and many of the things I was naïve about and held at arms length are now things I think aren't just possible but truth - including the important role that science plays in matters of faith, the human condition and theology. Of course I know I could be wrong, but that's the beauty of a free thinkin' theology: it doesn't matter because for me, growing and strengthening in faith is not about something being right. It's about wonder and creating meaning. I'm not interested in fact-finding but in the exploration of truth. Truth leaves the door open while fact slams it shut. Discussion over. As long as we can talk about and explore the deepness of God and all things of the spiritual nature together with honesty and humility, there is hope for unity amidst our differences.
And so, I have adapted an approach of transparency, honesty, vulnerability and authenticity. I often feel like I've said too much or revealed more than I needed to. And while silence definitely has its place, when it comes to what it means to be human, I think the only way to grow is through listening for truth in our storytelling. Whether a friend, husband, dad, pastor, I desire connection and personal well-being and growth through dialogue, imagination and a spirit of adventure into the unknown by asking lots of questions. The sweet irony is that I used to dislike people like this - people who questioned everything, especially when it came to matters of faith. But then life happened to me, and it happened again and again, and on one particular happening, I realized that certainty or more specifically, knowing why something happened - was not possible. The only certainties I could stake my life on were change and death. For me the choice was simple: mystery or misery of uncertainty. I chose mystery and still do.
Of course, one must realize that Free Thinkin' Theology is only "free" if the thoughts stay in your head. It's only "no cost" if you keep your doubts, wonder and questions to yourself. Honesty comes with a high premium in todays world. I am growing increasingly aware of what living out this level of honesty and question-asking means in regards to the church. As a leader of a faith community/ congregation (what many refer to as church) I am learning that a free thinkin' preacher is welcome up to a point. But oh how I long for a church (universally speaking) that not only welcomes this kind of honesty and faith-curiosity but becomes synonymous with it - so that when people encounter Jesus-followers they would associate us with truth-telling, acceptance and humility. Imagine that for a second... What might happen if people of faith, especially the Christian faith, reflected not judgment or closed-mindedness, but authentic expressions of Jesus' radical acceptance, hospitality and gratitude in their relating to one another (no matter what you believed?)
It's easy to feel like it'll never happen, but I still hope it will. In the meantime, I will strive to be as genuine and true to myself as I can. Whew, if you've read this far - congrats and thanks. Now that I've got all that off my chest, I will take aim at exploring the following 5 areas of spiritual and religious debate that I cannot stop questioning and formulating new ideas and beliefs about:
1. Why did Jesus die?
2. The Bible
3. Hell
4. Science and Religion
5. God as omniscient (all-knowing)
How's that for a cliff-hanger?
