Generally speaking, we live in a very nice neighborhood with friendly neighbors and children. Yes, occasionally we've had our run-ins with some kids throwing rocks at us or hiding our mailbox lid, but over all, we've enjoyed a happy co-existence with the folks from Agincourt Lane. This all came into question when a deliberate and heinous act was committed a few days ago as we witnessed it occurring right before our eyes in our own back yard.
The punk ringleader walked right into our yard, allowing his little punk friend to lead the way - showing no fear of wrongdoing of what was about to happen. He gave no attempt to do the right thing to stop their obvious trespassing, and he actually seemed to encourage this disgusting behavior to continue. Now, this was all happening while we stood transfixed in our kitchen - in the broad daylight during a day off from work - and we were truly bewildered and furious all at once. Should we walk out there and confront them? Should we make a noise to scare them off? No, we just watched in horror as these punks had their way with our lawn, adding a nice fresh dose of poop beneath our tranquil bird-feeder tree.
Who were these perpetrators you ask? These neighborhood punks happen to live right next door to us - and until this particular moment, sharing a street with them had been peaceful and incident free. All that peace has been lost - all these years of being able to truthfully tell people that "we live in a great neighborhood" - all lies! How long has this been going on?! Have we been blinded to the innocence they've been portraying to us? Sure, the wife has been a little anti-social, never giving us a "hello" or "how about this weather?" whenever we've seen her out and about with her little punk in tow - but THIS - this is a slap in the face! And the ringleader punk - he's been friendly to our faces! He introduced himself when we moved in - he's smiled and waved and given us that warm "this is a great neighbor" feeling when we've crossed paths. So, you can imagine our disappointment when he - not his anti-social cohort wife - is the one to betray our trust and allow his little punk poodle to violate our back yard sanctuary!
This is unacceptable Mr. Taylor - truly, inexcusable behavior. We know what you did. We saw you with our own eyes. You can't hide behind your 75 year old mask any longer - we know who you really are...a sneaky, disrespectful, line-crossing, neighborhood punk.
Next time you "wander" into our yard and let that over sized rat of a dog of yours do its naughty business - well, you better be ready for some payback. Let's see how old you really are when you open your door to see a flaming bag of punk poo on your doorstep.
Maybe that will teach you to respect the 9th commandment.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Ode to Snow
Winter is upon us (most of us reading this anyway) and with the frigid temperatures, there is something else out there to remind us what season we're in. Are you living where you can look out the window and see the fluffy white stuff we all know to be snow? If you are, where would you classify your attitude towards it? "Never enough," "It's enough," or "Too much?" Growing up, I would definitely say that I was a "Never enough" kind of kid. Despite the arduous task of shoveling our driveway, the positives still outweighed the negatives. Now, however, as I find myself in a different geographical location that does not see a lot of snow in the winter, I would definitely create a new classification: "Not enough." On my way to work amid mild flurries, I found myself reminiscing about all the fun I have had in the snow over the years. I realized that I have had A LOT of fun times in the white stuff, so narrowing down a Top Ten List won't be as easy as I thought, but here goes anyway:
#10: Although not exactly "fun," my adventure in the ol' Silver Bullet '86 Camaro from Moorhead to Glencoe is definitely memorable enough to crack the top ten. I was traveling in white out conditions, snow drifts blowing all around me, and I drove white-knuckled behind the only thing I could see - a semi-truck. I prayed continuously that he wouldn't veer into a ditch, because if he had, I would have been right there with him.
#9: Drive-Way Fort Building: I don't know how old I was when I actually stopped building snow-forts because it was just a given every time the plow would bless us with a fresh batch of fort-making material. We had some amazing structures I tell ya - good times.
#8: Although 9 out of the 10 on this list will have memories from states other than where I currently live, there is one that needs mentioning from Richmond. Rebecca and I went to our annual Christmas Book Club dinner over at some friends from church, and we arrived to clear skies and empty lawns. When we left about 2 hours later, there was a fresh covering of snowflakes on everything - a beautiful surprise.
#7: Much to our parents concern and worry, my brother and I grew up testing gravity with our inner-tube sledding down our monster hill on Harding Street. We would zip down at breakneck speeds before soaring off the compacted snow ramp at the bottom to see how far we could stay airborne before landing in the street. I'm sure it wasn't very long, but back then, it felt like eternity.
#6 While making a Superheroes video in St. Anthony, I donned my Robin costume and hit the streets directing traffic. As as proudly walked by snickering drivers in my green tights and turtleneck, I staged a fall that was horribly miscalculated. I drilled my head on the snow covered ice on the sidewalk and had my first concussion. The fall looked incredible on playback though.
#5 Ben Bruins' house was the destination for ultimate sledding from my early years. Ben's dad sculpted a bobsled like course in their backyard - he even took the time to ice them to maximize speed. This is probably my earliest memory of having the need for speed. I am forever grateful to Mr. Bruins for his awesome dedication to us wee ones and our sleds.
#4 During my junior year of college, I took part in what I dub "The Braveheart Snow-ball fight." A freak snowstorm left an entire university blanketed in a couple feet of snow. This amazing stroke of luck was magnified by twenty when that university was in the South, where they rarely or never got snow in the winter. I along with my entire dorm at NC State joined forces and battled against other dorms in a snow-ball fight of epic proportions. We had the rest of the week off to recover.
#3 During my freshman year at Moorhead State, me and several friends planned to leave for a weekend retreat in Bismark, North Dakota. A big snowstorm interrupted our plans and we instead stayed in the confines of Minnesota. From this setback, we ventured into the streets of Moorhead and created our own American Gladiator like game called "Scrum." A combination of the viciousness of Rugby and Football and the scoring of basketball, we debuted this awesome winter time "annihilation of your best friends" game that never got old.
#2 The Halloween snowstorm is easily one of the best snow memories of my short life. When mother nature dumps several feet of snow on Halloween, some might decide to cancel their child's plans for trick-or-treating. Me and my friends were lucky to have no such parents - no, our parents let us go out and conquer the candy world in our costumes like champions. With so few kids out that Halloween, we were able to trudge through mountains and waist high cliffs of snow and make an absolute killing on candy that probably would have lasted for years if we weren't...well, kids.
#1 The Columbia Golf Course provided sledders of all ages with a variety of hills to satisfy their dare-devil dreams. Taking to the course with your friends and a 6 foot toboggan made for the sweetest of all snow time memories. Piling 6-8 fully grown high school boys on at once and flying down a hill with the intentions of sailing skyward off a ramp - priceless. Hours were spent trying everything we could think of, and when "backwards" was inevitably suggested, we gave it everything we had. Perfection took a few runs, but ultimately, we hit that jump, and we hit it good.
I hope you've enjoyed this breakdown of my fun with snow over the years. I know some of you still keep the spirit alive by hitting the slopes, making snow-angels, pelting loved ones with snowballs or taking your car fish-tailing through vacant parking lots, and for that I am proud of you.
Oh, I almost forgot the best part about playing in the snow: wearing moon boots and snow-pants. After all, who needs a sled - or even snow - when you've got snow-pants?
#10: Although not exactly "fun," my adventure in the ol' Silver Bullet '86 Camaro from Moorhead to Glencoe is definitely memorable enough to crack the top ten. I was traveling in white out conditions, snow drifts blowing all around me, and I drove white-knuckled behind the only thing I could see - a semi-truck. I prayed continuously that he wouldn't veer into a ditch, because if he had, I would have been right there with him.
#9: Drive-Way Fort Building: I don't know how old I was when I actually stopped building snow-forts because it was just a given every time the plow would bless us with a fresh batch of fort-making material. We had some amazing structures I tell ya - good times.
#8: Although 9 out of the 10 on this list will have memories from states other than where I currently live, there is one that needs mentioning from Richmond. Rebecca and I went to our annual Christmas Book Club dinner over at some friends from church, and we arrived to clear skies and empty lawns. When we left about 2 hours later, there was a fresh covering of snowflakes on everything - a beautiful surprise.
#7: Much to our parents concern and worry, my brother and I grew up testing gravity with our inner-tube sledding down our monster hill on Harding Street. We would zip down at breakneck speeds before soaring off the compacted snow ramp at the bottom to see how far we could stay airborne before landing in the street. I'm sure it wasn't very long, but back then, it felt like eternity.
#6 While making a Superheroes video in St. Anthony, I donned my Robin costume and hit the streets directing traffic. As as proudly walked by snickering drivers in my green tights and turtleneck, I staged a fall that was horribly miscalculated. I drilled my head on the snow covered ice on the sidewalk and had my first concussion. The fall looked incredible on playback though.
#5 Ben Bruins' house was the destination for ultimate sledding from my early years. Ben's dad sculpted a bobsled like course in their backyard - he even took the time to ice them to maximize speed. This is probably my earliest memory of having the need for speed. I am forever grateful to Mr. Bruins for his awesome dedication to us wee ones and our sleds.
#4 During my junior year of college, I took part in what I dub "The Braveheart Snow-ball fight." A freak snowstorm left an entire university blanketed in a couple feet of snow. This amazing stroke of luck was magnified by twenty when that university was in the South, where they rarely or never got snow in the winter. I along with my entire dorm at NC State joined forces and battled against other dorms in a snow-ball fight of epic proportions. We had the rest of the week off to recover.
#3 During my freshman year at Moorhead State, me and several friends planned to leave for a weekend retreat in Bismark, North Dakota. A big snowstorm interrupted our plans and we instead stayed in the confines of Minnesota. From this setback, we ventured into the streets of Moorhead and created our own American Gladiator like game called "Scrum." A combination of the viciousness of Rugby and Football and the scoring of basketball, we debuted this awesome winter time "annihilation of your best friends" game that never got old.
#2 The Halloween snowstorm is easily one of the best snow memories of my short life. When mother nature dumps several feet of snow on Halloween, some might decide to cancel their child's plans for trick-or-treating. Me and my friends were lucky to have no such parents - no, our parents let us go out and conquer the candy world in our costumes like champions. With so few kids out that Halloween, we were able to trudge through mountains and waist high cliffs of snow and make an absolute killing on candy that probably would have lasted for years if we weren't...well, kids.
#1 The Columbia Golf Course provided sledders of all ages with a variety of hills to satisfy their dare-devil dreams. Taking to the course with your friends and a 6 foot toboggan made for the sweetest of all snow time memories. Piling 6-8 fully grown high school boys on at once and flying down a hill with the intentions of sailing skyward off a ramp - priceless. Hours were spent trying everything we could think of, and when "backwards" was inevitably suggested, we gave it everything we had. Perfection took a few runs, but ultimately, we hit that jump, and we hit it good.
I hope you've enjoyed this breakdown of my fun with snow over the years. I know some of you still keep the spirit alive by hitting the slopes, making snow-angels, pelting loved ones with snowballs or taking your car fish-tailing through vacant parking lots, and for that I am proud of you.
Oh, I almost forgot the best part about playing in the snow: wearing moon boots and snow-pants. After all, who needs a sled - or even snow - when you've got snow-pants?
Monday, January 7, 2008
Bring the Blinker Back
Although I have not made any new year resolutions myself, I have a proposal for the people of the world: let's bring the blinker back - please! I am referring to the appropriate use of the car turn signal aka "blinker." In the last year, I have really seen a decline in driving ability around me, and one of the biggest pet peeves has been the incorrect and most times, non-use of the blinker altogether. C'mon, it's really not that hard people. I will even make a prediction that better use of the car blinker can help create peace on earth...
First of all, I think it's important to identify the purpose of the blinker. The reason we have this function in our vehicles is for the simple and important task of letting other drivers know where we are going - whether they are behind us or coming towards us. The blinker is one of the few car-to-car communication devices we have to use. The other two features that help us communicate with others on the road are the headlights/brakes and the horn. That's it - so, if you think about it - if we can master these three features together, we'll be communicating a whole lot better with one another on the road, which I think would inevitably lead to more peace on the earth.
I think more appropriate use of the blinker will result in fewer angry outbursts and horn blaring - which will therefore create less stress and induce fewer road rage incidents and accidents - in other words "peace on earth." I see the constant "blinker negligence" occurring on our roads - drivers brake suddenly, the drivers behind must act quickly to avoid a crash only to learn that the driver was just making a turn. A little heads up would help us all out. The flip side of not alerting drivers to your intentions by the small, easy flick of a blinker switch to indicate your next move is that blinkers are either accidentally left on, or there is a long drawn out blink and move - again, it's about the appropriate use, striking the delicate balance if you will. I don't know about you, but I was taught to blink, turn around and look behind me, and then change lanes or merge. All too often, I think blinker negligent drivers are eliminating 2 steps too many, or worse yet, messing with the order of the procedure. It's all about communication - I can't stress that enough.
How can we know that you are having inter-relational problems within your car, or you're nursing a bad transmission, or you're 104 years old and can't see where you're going unless you activate the Hazard blinkers to let us know? Let's work together people - let's start using our blinkers the way we were taught, or the way we were supposed to be taught, and start working towards peace on the roads, which, I think we'll find, will lead to peace in other areas of our lives. We can prevent unnecessary horn blaring with a simple "look at me, I'm blinking because I would like to go this way" rather than cutting across 4 lanes of traffic and giving everyone around you a mild heart attack while you receive a 21 finger salute...
In conclusion - let's face it, we need to communicate better with one another. We need to exercise our own blinkers in our day to day lives with one another, giving each other some forewarning before we jerk the wheel and slice across traffic trying to make an exit or suddenly decide to turn down an unexpected road of life. And when we're not feeling well, we need to let others close to us see that our "Check Engine" light is on. Let's be more visible to one another and put the head lights on, rather than going through life trying to be invisible, and only drawing attention to ourselves when something slams into us and sends us to the body shop. Instead of driving like maniacs, continuously in a hurry, let's not forget to obey the laws of traffic, stay alert and act courteously to each other. You can't say you've never gotten warm fuzzies from letting someone in front of you that really needs the help - the ol' "blink and wave" technique - let's do our best to keep that going.
Blink for peace on earth.
First of all, I think it's important to identify the purpose of the blinker. The reason we have this function in our vehicles is for the simple and important task of letting other drivers know where we are going - whether they are behind us or coming towards us. The blinker is one of the few car-to-car communication devices we have to use. The other two features that help us communicate with others on the road are the headlights/brakes and the horn. That's it - so, if you think about it - if we can master these three features together, we'll be communicating a whole lot better with one another on the road, which I think would inevitably lead to more peace on the earth.
I think more appropriate use of the blinker will result in fewer angry outbursts and horn blaring - which will therefore create less stress and induce fewer road rage incidents and accidents - in other words "peace on earth." I see the constant "blinker negligence" occurring on our roads - drivers brake suddenly, the drivers behind must act quickly to avoid a crash only to learn that the driver was just making a turn. A little heads up would help us all out. The flip side of not alerting drivers to your intentions by the small, easy flick of a blinker switch to indicate your next move is that blinkers are either accidentally left on, or there is a long drawn out blink and move - again, it's about the appropriate use, striking the delicate balance if you will. I don't know about you, but I was taught to blink, turn around and look behind me, and then change lanes or merge. All too often, I think blinker negligent drivers are eliminating 2 steps too many, or worse yet, messing with the order of the procedure. It's all about communication - I can't stress that enough.
How can we know that you are having inter-relational problems within your car, or you're nursing a bad transmission, or you're 104 years old and can't see where you're going unless you activate the Hazard blinkers to let us know? Let's work together people - let's start using our blinkers the way we were taught, or the way we were supposed to be taught, and start working towards peace on the roads, which, I think we'll find, will lead to peace in other areas of our lives. We can prevent unnecessary horn blaring with a simple "look at me, I'm blinking because I would like to go this way" rather than cutting across 4 lanes of traffic and giving everyone around you a mild heart attack while you receive a 21 finger salute...
In conclusion - let's face it, we need to communicate better with one another. We need to exercise our own blinkers in our day to day lives with one another, giving each other some forewarning before we jerk the wheel and slice across traffic trying to make an exit or suddenly decide to turn down an unexpected road of life. And when we're not feeling well, we need to let others close to us see that our "Check Engine" light is on. Let's be more visible to one another and put the head lights on, rather than going through life trying to be invisible, and only drawing attention to ourselves when something slams into us and sends us to the body shop. Instead of driving like maniacs, continuously in a hurry, let's not forget to obey the laws of traffic, stay alert and act courteously to each other. You can't say you've never gotten warm fuzzies from letting someone in front of you that really needs the help - the ol' "blink and wave" technique - let's do our best to keep that going.
Blink for peace on earth.
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
I Rock!
Happy New Year! I hope all of your holiday gatherings and celebrations were fun-filled as well as fulfilling. I apologize for the week off from writing, but our newly installed Internet at home is dial-up and still a bit slow - not that this is my excuse for not writing, because in all honesty, I just never got around to it...but if I HAD, let's just say the Internet would've been too slow. ANYWHO - let's kick off 2008 with another Life-in-Tents posting, shall we?
Although I deplore the act of bragging and patting oneself on the back for doing a job well done - for it's not exactly "humble" and it is merely done to irritate others so that you may feel better about yourself - I still feel the need to do so for I rarely have an actual opportunity to justifiably warrant such a prideful display, let alone 2 reasons to feel particularly proud of my accomplishments. The first accomplishment is of the competitive nature and will no doubt irritate some of my cherished readership, of which I do apologize - but obviously my apology is a bit tongue-in-cheek, for if I was truly sincere, I probably wouldn't be writing about it! The second accomplishment is a personal one, of which I have no competition to alienate other than the fears within that have lost a foothold upon me. So here, in the first Life-in-tents installment of 2008 are 2 reasons why "I Rock" (aka I'm awesome, I'm a stud, I'm World's Best Dude etc.)
After 17 long weeks of the National Football League head to head gridiron Pick 'em contest, the regular season has ended and a new Long Family football picks champion has been crowned. The former champ has been dethroned and the new face of excellency has taken the title and glory that is simply known to all as the "winner." And yes, I am happy to announce that I am that winner. You see, this distinguished title has been in existence 3 years now - and the title has changed hands every year, but is mine for the first time, and hopefully, not the last. I would like to say that I have been close in the previous two campaigns, but that was certainly not the case. No, this year's rise to the top was as unexpected by my competitors, and almost as much, if not more so, by myself. I tried to go into it with a fresh perspective and strategy, but, just like so many other years of mental competitions, I was haunted by my long-standing track record for finding a way to sabotage my instincts and abilities. It was a struggle and an often up-hill battle against my gut instincts and intelligence - but, somehow, the gods of guess looked down upon me and smiled and I am now able to give myself a hearty pat on the back for a job well done. Yes, my enormous lead diminished, my opponents will counter, but like the Patriots and there bid for perfection, I withstood the big red target on my back and was able to hold on for dear life through the rough patches and at the end walk proudly away with a strong finish and my first ever Long Family Football Pick 'em crown.
The second accomplishment is silly really. It is not something I expect many of you will shake your heads in astonishment and revelry and say " wow, that Keith is something to behold..." No, I expect that you will probably be saying that alright, but in a much different tone. As many of you may know, I have a wild and active imagination which has from time to time led to some paralyzing self-induced fears and realizations that have been not only ridiculously far-fetched but just flat out untrue. Here are some examples:
1) In middle school after viewing the action-packed "Firebirds" movie with Apache Attack Helicopters, my *friend and I decided to build one of our own, out of cardboard, folding chairs and discarded wood. We were disappointed to never even get airborne.
2) Terrified of having to shower in 6th grade physical education class, another *friend and I decided that we needed to "tan" so that we would not look so pasty white when we disrobed and made the walk of shame to the open shower stalls with the rest of our pre-pubescent classmates. Our remedy was to throw on some spandex and lay topless on Styrofoam mats on my front lawn to catch some rays on our nether regions - so we wouldn't look ridiculous come shower time...
3) Hiding a baseball bat under my bed during my high school years, I felt secure knowing that should an intruder break into my room late at night, I could easily disarm them with my heroic acts of self-defense by unleashing my cat-like agility and knocking them out with one or two - or eight swift swings of the ol' Louisville Slugger...
*Names withheld to protect from shame and ridicule by loved ones
So here I am with the latest debunking of a far-fetched fear that had previously kept me from taking action. Ready? Here it is: I finally went under the house in the crawl space and finished laying a plastic vapor barrier over the exposed ground, thereby preventing mold and moisture from affecting the wood flooring of our house. Yes, you read that right. I willed myself to crawl under the house. I know, most of you are scratching your heads in disbelief, thinking "That's it?" And yes, I agree whole-hearted with you - I really had worked myself up for something so very, very uncomplicated. I was done in like 5 minutes. I couldn't believe how I put that task off for so long because of the following untrue predictions:
1) I would encounter dead life of some kind that would stink to high heaven and be really really gross to not only see but have to be removed.
2) There would be lots and lots of spiders and insect nests that I would disrupt and potentially be trapped by and crawled upon by.
3) That I may encounter a living animal of some kind - like a raccoon or possum - and have no way of defending myself in the event of an attack.
4) That I may see a ton of problems that would inevitably mean spending more time down there fixing (but I wouldn't want to because of one of the 3 above being true.)
So, last week, I built up the courage and knocked this home improvement task out in the span of a measly 5 minutes. I put on my head lamp, jeans and painter clothes and threw open the creepy doors that had held me at bay for 3 years running and I slithered around the open space of dirt and pipes and insulation until I found the bare ground that needed plastic - all the way at the front of the house, the furthest distance from the entrance as suspected. I can say proudly that I finished the job and continued on my way with none of the above imagined challenges being true. It was fantastic - I felt so free and proud - and despite how pathetic and ridiculous this must be to read, I can say that I do not care, for I have conquered another fear. I still, without a doubt - rock.
Although I deplore the act of bragging and patting oneself on the back for doing a job well done - for it's not exactly "humble" and it is merely done to irritate others so that you may feel better about yourself - I still feel the need to do so for I rarely have an actual opportunity to justifiably warrant such a prideful display, let alone 2 reasons to feel particularly proud of my accomplishments. The first accomplishment is of the competitive nature and will no doubt irritate some of my cherished readership, of which I do apologize - but obviously my apology is a bit tongue-in-cheek, for if I was truly sincere, I probably wouldn't be writing about it! The second accomplishment is a personal one, of which I have no competition to alienate other than the fears within that have lost a foothold upon me. So here, in the first Life-in-tents installment of 2008 are 2 reasons why "I Rock" (aka I'm awesome, I'm a stud, I'm World's Best Dude etc.)
After 17 long weeks of the National Football League head to head gridiron Pick 'em contest, the regular season has ended and a new Long Family football picks champion has been crowned. The former champ has been dethroned and the new face of excellency has taken the title and glory that is simply known to all as the "winner." And yes, I am happy to announce that I am that winner. You see, this distinguished title has been in existence 3 years now - and the title has changed hands every year, but is mine for the first time, and hopefully, not the last. I would like to say that I have been close in the previous two campaigns, but that was certainly not the case. No, this year's rise to the top was as unexpected by my competitors, and almost as much, if not more so, by myself. I tried to go into it with a fresh perspective and strategy, but, just like so many other years of mental competitions, I was haunted by my long-standing track record for finding a way to sabotage my instincts and abilities. It was a struggle and an often up-hill battle against my gut instincts and intelligence - but, somehow, the gods of guess looked down upon me and smiled and I am now able to give myself a hearty pat on the back for a job well done. Yes, my enormous lead diminished, my opponents will counter, but like the Patriots and there bid for perfection, I withstood the big red target on my back and was able to hold on for dear life through the rough patches and at the end walk proudly away with a strong finish and my first ever Long Family Football Pick 'em crown.
The second accomplishment is silly really. It is not something I expect many of you will shake your heads in astonishment and revelry and say " wow, that Keith is something to behold..." No, I expect that you will probably be saying that alright, but in a much different tone. As many of you may know, I have a wild and active imagination which has from time to time led to some paralyzing self-induced fears and realizations that have been not only ridiculously far-fetched but just flat out untrue. Here are some examples:
1) In middle school after viewing the action-packed "Firebirds" movie with Apache Attack Helicopters, my *friend and I decided to build one of our own, out of cardboard, folding chairs and discarded wood. We were disappointed to never even get airborne.
2) Terrified of having to shower in 6th grade physical education class, another *friend and I decided that we needed to "tan" so that we would not look so pasty white when we disrobed and made the walk of shame to the open shower stalls with the rest of our pre-pubescent classmates. Our remedy was to throw on some spandex and lay topless on Styrofoam mats on my front lawn to catch some rays on our nether regions - so we wouldn't look ridiculous come shower time...
3) Hiding a baseball bat under my bed during my high school years, I felt secure knowing that should an intruder break into my room late at night, I could easily disarm them with my heroic acts of self-defense by unleashing my cat-like agility and knocking them out with one or two - or eight swift swings of the ol' Louisville Slugger...
*Names withheld to protect from shame and ridicule by loved ones
So here I am with the latest debunking of a far-fetched fear that had previously kept me from taking action. Ready? Here it is: I finally went under the house in the crawl space and finished laying a plastic vapor barrier over the exposed ground, thereby preventing mold and moisture from affecting the wood flooring of our house. Yes, you read that right. I willed myself to crawl under the house. I know, most of you are scratching your heads in disbelief, thinking "That's it?" And yes, I agree whole-hearted with you - I really had worked myself up for something so very, very uncomplicated. I was done in like 5 minutes. I couldn't believe how I put that task off for so long because of the following untrue predictions:
1) I would encounter dead life of some kind that would stink to high heaven and be really really gross to not only see but have to be removed.
2) There would be lots and lots of spiders and insect nests that I would disrupt and potentially be trapped by and crawled upon by.
3) That I may encounter a living animal of some kind - like a raccoon or possum - and have no way of defending myself in the event of an attack.
4) That I may see a ton of problems that would inevitably mean spending more time down there fixing (but I wouldn't want to because of one of the 3 above being true.)
So, last week, I built up the courage and knocked this home improvement task out in the span of a measly 5 minutes. I put on my head lamp, jeans and painter clothes and threw open the creepy doors that had held me at bay for 3 years running and I slithered around the open space of dirt and pipes and insulation until I found the bare ground that needed plastic - all the way at the front of the house, the furthest distance from the entrance as suspected. I can say proudly that I finished the job and continued on my way with none of the above imagined challenges being true. It was fantastic - I felt so free and proud - and despite how pathetic and ridiculous this must be to read, I can say that I do not care, for I have conquered another fear. I still, without a doubt - rock.
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