Sea Sick Sunk

There are certain experiences that happen in life that are joyful, exciting, exhilirating and downright amazing that you can't help but want them to happen over and over again because they are just that special. There are other experiences of such misery and pain that you wish had never happened in the first place - but you learned a great deal from it anyway. I wish my experience on Tuesday was the first one - but, it is most definitely not.

For the third straight year I went fishing on Election Day with a fellow church member and friend who rents out a charter fishing boat in the Chesapeake Bay for a group of 5-10 people to catch Rockfish Striper. Rebecca joined us for the second straight year, and I was looking forward to getting on the sea and taking in a nice catch of fish. I've never left disappointed before, so I didn't have any reason to doubt this year would be any different. The last two years the weather has been quite nice for a half day's worth of fishin' - cloudy the first year and sunny last year - but this year was unlike either of those. It was windy, rainy and the Bay was a rockin'. The ride out to the spot of Captain Billy's choice was rough - but that big and powerful boat had no problems crashing through the choppy conditions - and we even caught the blood red sunrise.

While on our way, I started to feel weird inside. My body felt weak, like I needed something to eat. I ate the blueberry muffin Rebecca bought at the "Little Sue" convenience store on the way down. It wasn't terrible - kind of messy. Then, I started to feel something coming on and it was not a good feeling. I started to gaze at the horizon, for that was all I knew what to do to combat seasickness. Then, we reached our destination and like a wave catching up to the boat, it all slammed into me and I felt completely miserable - I was definitely sea sick. I wanted fresh air badly but I didn't want to look like a wuss - so I waited it out. The 12 year old kid named Josh who had come along broke the silence with a groan that indicated I wasn't the only one in trouble. Captain Billy sprung to action and instructed him to get out of the cabin immediately. I followed behind. Josh, faired a bit worse than I - he was bent over the railing and sending chum into the sea pretty quickly. I on the other hand, did not feel well, but did not have the urge to vomit either. I was woozy - very, very woozy. I gave it a go though, I was there to fish dang it. I got going, but I was not well - Rebecca could see it all over my face. I stared out at the horizon, which only came into view every other second or so as the boat rode the waves up and down, up and down - the conditions were not great to say the least. I was determined to catch some fish and will my body back to good health - I was not puking and I was not quitting. It was going to be a long day - but I was leaving here with some fish.

My determination helped me through the first hour. I caught several fish and was feeling decent enough. Then I just felt my legs shaking - I knew I needed to sit and take a break. Josh was sound asleep by this time - and I wanted to shove him aside so I could get a quick nap in too. I had slept terrible the night before - off and on throughout the whole night. I was tired. Then I noticed Rebecca had taken a break too and was not looking the greatest either. We both managed to lay down and shut our eyes. After about twenty to thirty minutes, I roused myself and went back to fishing, feeling much better - not 100% - but better. I caught some more fish and was starting to have some fun again. Then the wind shifted and we started to get slammed again - the waves got higher and higher around us and we were up and down with even more tenacity than before. I hung tight this time though - I kept my gaze focussed straight ahead and did not falter. I held strong - my legs provided a solid base under me and I kept right on fishing with no problems. Then, through no fault of my own, my pole malfunctioned and I needed to fix it before continuing on. Big mistake.

I broke my gaze and focussed on the problem with my pole - I tried untangling it and had a little success doing so. I was getting close to totally fixing it and returning to fishing when my body gave out again - the sickness returned stronger than ever and I needed to lay down - immediately. I was so disappointed - I was doing so well despite the worsening weather conditions, but I could not stay on my feet any longer - I was closer than ever to losing that muffin all over myself. The throw-up feeling subsided but I was done fishing for the day. Misery had fully consumed me and all I could do was pray that we would leave soon. Rebecca managed to recover nicely and catch the biggest fish of the day - I was proud of her, but not strong enough to even glance at the thing - I was done for. My prayers were soon answered, and Captain Billy pulled up the anchor and set our course for calmer waters - we were headed to shore. I was happy - but not thrilled for that meant I was headed back into the boat's enclosed cabin for another twenty minutes - the conditions were too stormy and dangerous outside. I summoned up the last bit of strengthI had and saddled up in the cabin for the ride home. I just put my head down and tried to sleep - but my head just flailed around with each thump of the boat - it was not my idea of a relaxing ride.

We made it back and I was excited to be on land again - still quite sick, but I didn't throw up and I was not bouncing on the Bay's waves any longer - which felt good. As I slowly returned to normal, the Lord hit me with some great learning and realizations. It's a blessing and a curse to always be on the lookout for learning in life situations - especially the miserable ones, because you always learn from those. I learned first hand how important it is to look ahead and keep your focus on what is steady rather than what is shifting. I learned that no matter what the problem is - to not let myself get fully consumed by it or I'll lose more than I bargained for. I learned that despite our determination, sometimes things are out of our control and you just have to do your best to stick it out - taking time to assess yourself and do what is right for you, no matter what. I also realized how amazing that story from the Bible is about Jesus walking on the water and inviting Peter to join him - if the waves were anything like they were on Tuesday - I now have even greater appreciation for this powerful miracle and what it must have been like for Peter to get out of the boat - wow - awesome. That is the kind of faith I want - and I found myself learning the same lesson Peter did - never take your eyes off that which is steady and solid or you'll let your problems sink you. And even when you've been sunk - help is just a prayer away.