Some Assembly Required

Last year it was the snow and this year it's the cold. So, so brutally cold. Coldest winter I can remember enduring. I thought it might be snowy like last year, so I ordered some snowshoes to help fight cabin fever. I've had them a little over a month now and they're still in the box. I decided to take a look at them today even though I had no intention whatsoever of going out in the -40 degree weather or whatever the heck it is these days. I was discouraged almost immediately because I quickly learned that there was some assembly required. Ugh. Do they realize that their "manual" makes zero sense to someone who has NEVER snow-shoed before? I don't know what to do with this:

The diagram looks nothing like the random assortment of straps with buckles that came with the snowshoes. I HATE when this happens. Just include a picture of how its supposed to look and let me work backward from that, like putting together a puzzle. So, now even if the weather permits me to blaze a trail, I'll only be able to stare blankly at this crappy little half sheet of paper with "instructions" of how to assemble my snowshoes. Where's the love for visual learners?


This little episode makes me think about the nature of my work in the church lately. So often it feels like God gave me a passion for blazing a trail in ministry and then sent me a pair or un-assembled snowshoes. What the heck am I supposed to do with this? I keep fumbling and bumbling my way around this place, letting my feelings and failures dictate and detour my leadership here, causing more feelings of hopelessness, frustration and resentment. It's been a vicious spiral for 18 months. All I wanted to do was snowshoe! I wanted to get out in the open air, marvel at God's good creation, and take in some adventures along the way. Maybe I'd even inspire a few others to join me, leading them around to some cool places and growing together in our love of snowshoeing. So, I guess I'll just have to keep making it up as I go. I'm not too proud to ask for help, and I appreciate learning something new, even if it is attaching straps to snowshoes, but I'm tired of the run-around, the red-tape, the BS that seems to so often block from doing that which I feel I've been nudged to do for over 15 years.


Ain't nothing fun about attempting to re-route a dysfunctional way of thought (personally) or culture (this congregation). Most days I don't have the slightest clue where to begin. I've been choosing my projects carefully and praying that there is something useful being accomplished through my preaching, teaching and care amidst a people I love but don't understand.


It seems the cold has infected my brain and attitude, leaving me focused on broken snowshoes indoors, praying I'll warm up and get back to doing what I've been designed to do.