This week’s entry is taken from excerpts from my personal journal from over a year ago in the wake of the events following a camping experience in the Outer Banks of North Carolina. The experience helped me to create the “life-in-tents” idea and taught me life changing lessons about faith, trust and peace that have continued to shape, enlighten and comfort me ever since. I have been reflecting back on it recently during what has been a particularly storm-filled year – and it continues to open my eyes and heart to wisdom from above that soothes and guides me within. This perspective has brought me great meaning and purpose in my life and I firmly believe that there should never be any reason to short ourselves on perspectives in this diverse universe. Here now is a portion of that journal entry:
I write of our experience in the Outer Banks and the “near-death” events of May 26th, 2006 while tenting at North Beach Campground. Making it through that night has opened so many learnings of how I ought to live my life as a follower of Christ. I look back now with so much insight into how I behaved through that intense thunderstorm, clinging to so little security inside good ol’ RedHead (the name of our tent.)
The wind was fierce and constant, shaking our tent violently for hours and hours. Without the tent-saving tip from our neighbor (who had already lost one tent) to use the longer 10 inch stakes, we would have certainly been in much worse trouble. But, we purchased the stakes and firmly rooted RedHead into the sand, 10 paces from the Atlantic Ocean. That storm was insane! The wind grew stronger and stronger and shook that tent so much – I can’t even describe it – it was like 2 hands shaking it without letting up – and the sound of it was depressing – you couldn’t stop watching and visualizing the rainfly tearing off and sailing away, but it didn’t. And the thunder and lightning was right on top of us - pink and vivid – frightening. At one point I truly thought I was a goner, rapidly knocking on the car window for Rebecca to unlock my door, my heart was in my throat. I have not been this scared about a storm in all my life. We stayed in the car until it had let up enough to go to the bathroom and “retire” for the night. It was obvious that the storm was not over though, once we were in bed. Wave after wave, the storm continued into the night. Tent whipping and shaking, thunder, lightning, rain – all the elements were there – intense and constant. I lay awake, wide-eyed, nervous, worrisome and scared. It was a terrible weight on my chest all night. I couldn’t sleep – wouldn’t sleep (unlike Rebecca who proved once again that she can sleep through anything!) - until I felt secure. That security would not come from the outside – I knew I needed to reach a peace that transcended all understanding if I was to get any sleep that night. I prayed and prayed – my dialogue with God was continuous – but it was not prayers of faith and trust. They were prayers of worry, fear, hopelessness and doubt. Will the tent hold-up? Should we sleep in the car? Over and over I kept asking God for wisdom to know when to make the decision to abandon ship. I would occasionally pray in little streaks of strength and might – recalling verses that talked about being in “earthly tents” and longing for our heavenly dwellings in the Lord – the more I remembered bible verses the better I felt. The peace finally began to come after Rebecca awoke and calmed me and my fears. She truly introduced the solution to my worrisome night. She made me reminisce about the past – of good times, of Canada and Muskie fishing and the time I caught my first one, and all the happiness and feelings that had accompanied me then. My mind had finally escaped its current tribulations and brought me back to happier and fear free times. My mind was renewed, Rebecca had unlocked the key to not focusing on the world but rather on what is unseen – the eternal and the divine part of this life. Peace followed and healing was on its way.
After getting some much needed sleep, I awoke again to yet another round of wind and gales – gusts slamming into our tried and true tent. Fear had gripped me once again. I, through the help of Rebecca, had defeated it once, but the night was not over yet. I did not know how much more the tent or I could take. I truly thought it would tear apart at any moment. The sound was sickening. Then my gift of analogy returned. I pictured and compared the tent to us, and its struggle with the storm was like us and our life long struggles and trials on this journey. There were times of peace and stillness, and there were times of conflict, challenge and distress. My prayers became more God-centered – I recited verses to myself: “…struck down but not destroyed…” I sang this over and over. I began to slowly trust Him again with my life – I made Rebecca pray Luther’s evening prayer: “protect us through the night from all danger and harm…” I finally saw that though this storm would surely continue, my faith would overcome it if I let it. I finally tried letting it. I prayed to God that I trusted Him, that he would give me faith, help my unbelief and grant me peace – to trust Him with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding. “We live by faith, not by sight.” And that’s what I finally did. It took me much longer than it should have…I realized I was letting the waves sink me – and now I had realized that the wind shaking our tent ever so violently didn’t matter – if I was to survive the night (this life) in one piece without worrying into oblivion, I needed to release my mind from what it sees – the here and now of that storm – and allow it to be transformed, renewed by the power and peace of Christ, in order to live this eternal life we’ve been given.
The storm did rage on all through the night, but once I had seen the truth, been softened to what was really at hand, I slept. I remember praying “that whatever happens, I trust you God. My faith and hope are with you.” And with that, peace (sleep) came. The wind was still blowing in the morning, but oh what a difference I was beginning to see in my attitude towards it.
“We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed but not in despair; persecuted but not abandoned; struck down but not destroyed…for while we are in this tent, we groan and are burdened…we do not lose heart…For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”
2 Corinthians 4 & 5.
I write of our experience in the Outer Banks and the “near-death” events of May 26th, 2006 while tenting at North Beach Campground. Making it through that night has opened so many learnings of how I ought to live my life as a follower of Christ. I look back now with so much insight into how I behaved through that intense thunderstorm, clinging to so little security inside good ol’ RedHead (the name of our tent.)
The wind was fierce and constant, shaking our tent violently for hours and hours. Without the tent-saving tip from our neighbor (who had already lost one tent) to use the longer 10 inch stakes, we would have certainly been in much worse trouble. But, we purchased the stakes and firmly rooted RedHead into the sand, 10 paces from the Atlantic Ocean. That storm was insane! The wind grew stronger and stronger and shook that tent so much – I can’t even describe it – it was like 2 hands shaking it without letting up – and the sound of it was depressing – you couldn’t stop watching and visualizing the rainfly tearing off and sailing away, but it didn’t. And the thunder and lightning was right on top of us - pink and vivid – frightening. At one point I truly thought I was a goner, rapidly knocking on the car window for Rebecca to unlock my door, my heart was in my throat. I have not been this scared about a storm in all my life. We stayed in the car until it had let up enough to go to the bathroom and “retire” for the night. It was obvious that the storm was not over though, once we were in bed. Wave after wave, the storm continued into the night. Tent whipping and shaking, thunder, lightning, rain – all the elements were there – intense and constant. I lay awake, wide-eyed, nervous, worrisome and scared. It was a terrible weight on my chest all night. I couldn’t sleep – wouldn’t sleep (unlike Rebecca who proved once again that she can sleep through anything!) - until I felt secure. That security would not come from the outside – I knew I needed to reach a peace that transcended all understanding if I was to get any sleep that night. I prayed and prayed – my dialogue with God was continuous – but it was not prayers of faith and trust. They were prayers of worry, fear, hopelessness and doubt. Will the tent hold-up? Should we sleep in the car? Over and over I kept asking God for wisdom to know when to make the decision to abandon ship. I would occasionally pray in little streaks of strength and might – recalling verses that talked about being in “earthly tents” and longing for our heavenly dwellings in the Lord – the more I remembered bible verses the better I felt. The peace finally began to come after Rebecca awoke and calmed me and my fears. She truly introduced the solution to my worrisome night. She made me reminisce about the past – of good times, of Canada and Muskie fishing and the time I caught my first one, and all the happiness and feelings that had accompanied me then. My mind had finally escaped its current tribulations and brought me back to happier and fear free times. My mind was renewed, Rebecca had unlocked the key to not focusing on the world but rather on what is unseen – the eternal and the divine part of this life. Peace followed and healing was on its way.
After getting some much needed sleep, I awoke again to yet another round of wind and gales – gusts slamming into our tried and true tent. Fear had gripped me once again. I, through the help of Rebecca, had defeated it once, but the night was not over yet. I did not know how much more the tent or I could take. I truly thought it would tear apart at any moment. The sound was sickening. Then my gift of analogy returned. I pictured and compared the tent to us, and its struggle with the storm was like us and our life long struggles and trials on this journey. There were times of peace and stillness, and there were times of conflict, challenge and distress. My prayers became more God-centered – I recited verses to myself: “…struck down but not destroyed…” I sang this over and over. I began to slowly trust Him again with my life – I made Rebecca pray Luther’s evening prayer: “protect us through the night from all danger and harm…” I finally saw that though this storm would surely continue, my faith would overcome it if I let it. I finally tried letting it. I prayed to God that I trusted Him, that he would give me faith, help my unbelief and grant me peace – to trust Him with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding. “We live by faith, not by sight.” And that’s what I finally did. It took me much longer than it should have…I realized I was letting the waves sink me – and now I had realized that the wind shaking our tent ever so violently didn’t matter – if I was to survive the night (this life) in one piece without worrying into oblivion, I needed to release my mind from what it sees – the here and now of that storm – and allow it to be transformed, renewed by the power and peace of Christ, in order to live this eternal life we’ve been given.
The storm did rage on all through the night, but once I had seen the truth, been softened to what was really at hand, I slept. I remember praying “that whatever happens, I trust you God. My faith and hope are with you.” And with that, peace (sleep) came. The wind was still blowing in the morning, but oh what a difference I was beginning to see in my attitude towards it.
“We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed but not in despair; persecuted but not abandoned; struck down but not destroyed…for while we are in this tent, we groan and are burdened…we do not lose heart…For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”
2 Corinthians 4 & 5.
No comments:
Post a Comment